like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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