The brown eye won't let me do that either.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
