She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
