Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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