imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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