i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
