grandma shit on top of the toilet
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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