dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
