since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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