So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
