dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
