you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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