the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
