i permit you to call me
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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