new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
