you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
COCAINE IS GR8
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