i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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