Do you still have your period?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
