It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So drunk its hurt
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
