I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
