she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
