For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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