her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Randomize
