I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
