You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
