idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
