3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
50% drunk capacity currently
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
