Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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