I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
