I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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