I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
