Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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