Whod you bang
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
