After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
