Don't you send me to vm
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
