the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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