so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
