I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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