at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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