It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
