Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
