So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
