I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
