She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I need a beard to bite.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
