Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
