she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
