My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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