I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
