Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Acid is not a monday night drug
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Randomize
