I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
