paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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