But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
